Peace be with her for all eternity...

Peace be with her for all eternity...
Lily Diana Karian, 1987 - 2006

About Lily Diana Karian

Lily was just 19 years old, a freshman at Tufts. When she died, the world lost an extraordinary young woman, full of exceptional talent and promise. Lily was beautiful--although she did not think so--and intelligent. Musically talented, she was co-founder of the student-run a capella group "Accent" at her high school, and was instrumental in producing its first CD. She was a cum laude graduate of her high school, and as a senior won an award for outstanding achievement in physics.

More important, Lily was generous and compassionate. She was an active member of her church's youth fellowship, the "God Squad," and participated in numerous church mission trips to help needy people in areas such as rural South Carolina, Dominica, and Rosebud Indian Reservation in South Dakota. She was a loyal friend and devoted daughter and sister.

People who knew Lily loved her. She could charm you with her dazzling smile, and was full of love and appreciation for the beauty in the world around her. Her friends from the dorm--who really only knew her for three months--were so grief stricken when she died, they huddled together in the floor's common room for two weeks while they studied for exams, some even sleeping there, needing each other to process the loss of their extraordinary classmate. A police officer who was called into the dorm after Lily was found in her room commented, "Anyone who saw the face of those kids would know how much Lily had been loved."

Lily suffered from bipolar disorder. Although she was medicated, under the care of a psychiatrist she trusted, and had loving, knowledgeable, supportive parents, siblings, and friends, Lily was one of the unlucky ones who lost her battle against this disease, just as someone may be treated for a physical illness but nonetheless succumb to it.

Depression is NOT just a "case of the blues," and Lily's suicide was not the result of not liking college, or having a fight with a girlfriend, or an argument with her parents. Lily chose to end her life out of a belief that nothing else could alleviate her intense, unbearable psychic and emotional pain. She was not being selfish or uncaring about the impact of her act on those who loved her. As Lily's mother, Dr. Melody Craft Karian, told me, "If Lily had any idea of how much she was going to hurt people, if she had thought for one moment about how sad they would be, she never would have done this."


The Overnight 2008

The Overnight 2008
On The Brooklyn Bridge, June 2008

Light at the end of the darkness...

Light at the end of the darkness...
One of Lily's Luminaria, New York City, June 2008

Mental illness is an insidious disease, one that still carries a stigma.

Many people don't think it's "real," that those afflicted should just "snap out
of it" or "stop feeling sorry for themselves."

But in fact NO ONE is immune from its devastation.

Friday, June 18, 2010

John, Paul, George & Ringo sing for the cause

The Fab Four accompanied me on my training walk today. I walked for over an hour and a half and listened to just about every Beatles song I have on my iPod. Sometimes I need to listen to them like that, song after song, to remind myself just how much they changed the world of music forever, how incomparably unique and talented they were.

Well, the Walk is just a week away. It's on my mind most of the time. I think about what an honor it is to be with Lily's family and others who knew and loved her at this event. I also think about the people I meet on the Walk. It's almost universally true: everyone who participates in this event wants to talk. They want to talk about the person they lost--not so much about the sadness but about the happy memories they have. They want to know about the person in whose memory you are walking. I can't tell you how many people have said to me, "Tell me about Lily." This is one of the most wondrous aspects of the Walk for me. Since I didn't know Lily, I don't have much to say. However, I find that it is good to listen, to forge a connection with people who are in pain. I think that by doing nothing other than being quiet and paying attention, I am in some small way helping people whose wounds are deep and permanent. At least I hope I am.
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