Peace be with her for all eternity...

Peace be with her for all eternity...
Lily Diana Karian, 1987 - 2006

About Lily Diana Karian

Lily was just 19 years old, a freshman at Tufts. When she died, the world lost an extraordinary young woman, full of exceptional talent and promise. Lily was beautiful--although she did not think so--and intelligent. Musically talented, she was co-founder of the student-run a capella group "Accent" at her high school, and was instrumental in producing its first CD. She was a cum laude graduate of her high school, and as a senior won an award for outstanding achievement in physics.

More important, Lily was generous and compassionate. She was an active member of her church's youth fellowship, the "God Squad," and participated in numerous church mission trips to help needy people in areas such as rural South Carolina, Dominica, and Rosebud Indian Reservation in South Dakota. She was a loyal friend and devoted daughter and sister.

People who knew Lily loved her. She could charm you with her dazzling smile, and was full of love and appreciation for the beauty in the world around her. Her friends from the dorm--who really only knew her for three months--were so grief stricken when she died, they huddled together in the floor's common room for two weeks while they studied for exams, some even sleeping there, needing each other to process the loss of their extraordinary classmate. A police officer who was called into the dorm after Lily was found in her room commented, "Anyone who saw the face of those kids would know how much Lily had been loved."

Lily suffered from bipolar disorder. Although she was medicated, under the care of a psychiatrist she trusted, and had loving, knowledgeable, supportive parents, siblings, and friends, Lily was one of the unlucky ones who lost her battle against this disease, just as someone may be treated for a physical illness but nonetheless succumb to it.

Depression is NOT just a "case of the blues," and Lily's suicide was not the result of not liking college, or having a fight with a girlfriend, or an argument with her parents. Lily chose to end her life out of a belief that nothing else could alleviate her intense, unbearable psychic and emotional pain. She was not being selfish or uncaring about the impact of her act on those who loved her. As Lily's mother, Dr. Melody Craft Karian, told me, "If Lily had any idea of how much she was going to hurt people, if she had thought for one moment about how sad they would be, she never would have done this."


The Overnight 2008

The Overnight 2008
On The Brooklyn Bridge, June 2008

Light at the end of the darkness...

Light at the end of the darkness...
One of Lily's Luminaria, New York City, June 2008

Mental illness is an insidious disease, one that still carries a stigma.

Many people don't think it's "real," that those afflicted should just "snap out
of it" or "stop feeling sorry for themselves."

But in fact NO ONE is immune from its devastation.

Monday, May 24, 2010

The Walk is getting closer...

As the Walk gets closer, I have mixed feelings every day. Some days when I'm training I feel so strong; other days I think I'm never going to be able to do this. But I know I will get it done because there is something in me that feels this is so important--for Lily's family and friends, for everyone who has lost a loved one, and for all those who suffer from mental illness.

One funny thing...I've stopped training in Verona Park because the path along the lake is COVERED with goose poop. Yuck! This morning I went to Brookdale Park and even though it rained part of the time it was a great walk. Listened to Jackson Browne, which may not have been the best idea as he always makes me sad, but somehow his poignant lyrics fit the weathdr and the reason I'm walking.

Lily's friends from the a cappella group she began in high school, called Accent, are recording a CD for the Walk and calling it Water Lily. They have started a FB page to raise money for producing the CD and for the Walk and there must be 1,000 names on that page. After three and a half years people miss her more and more and love her so deeply and feel such raw pain that she is no longer here. It is inconceivable to me that with so many people loving her so much, Lily was still in such excruciating pain that she either could not recognize how people felt about her or all that love and caring just couldn't assuage the pain enough to make her feel she could bear to go on living.

That's it for now...
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