Peace be with her for all eternity...

Peace be with her for all eternity...
Lily Diana Karian, 1987 - 2006

About Lily Diana Karian

Lily was just 19 years old, a freshman at Tufts. When she died, the world lost an extraordinary young woman, full of exceptional talent and promise. Lily was beautiful--although she did not think so--and intelligent. Musically talented, she was co-founder of the student-run a capella group "Accent" at her high school, and was instrumental in producing its first CD. She was a cum laude graduate of her high school, and as a senior won an award for outstanding achievement in physics.

More important, Lily was generous and compassionate. She was an active member of her church's youth fellowship, the "God Squad," and participated in numerous church mission trips to help needy people in areas such as rural South Carolina, Dominica, and Rosebud Indian Reservation in South Dakota. She was a loyal friend and devoted daughter and sister.

People who knew Lily loved her. She could charm you with her dazzling smile, and was full of love and appreciation for the beauty in the world around her. Her friends from the dorm--who really only knew her for three months--were so grief stricken when she died, they huddled together in the floor's common room for two weeks while they studied for exams, some even sleeping there, needing each other to process the loss of their extraordinary classmate. A police officer who was called into the dorm after Lily was found in her room commented, "Anyone who saw the face of those kids would know how much Lily had been loved."

Lily suffered from bipolar disorder. Although she was medicated, under the care of a psychiatrist she trusted, and had loving, knowledgeable, supportive parents, siblings, and friends, Lily was one of the unlucky ones who lost her battle against this disease, just as someone may be treated for a physical illness but nonetheless succumb to it.

Depression is NOT just a "case of the blues," and Lily's suicide was not the result of not liking college, or having a fight with a girlfriend, or an argument with her parents. Lily chose to end her life out of a belief that nothing else could alleviate her intense, unbearable psychic and emotional pain. She was not being selfish or uncaring about the impact of her act on those who loved her. As Lily's mother, Dr. Melody Craft Karian, told me, "If Lily had any idea of how much she was going to hurt people, if she had thought for one moment about how sad they would be, she never would have done this."


The Overnight 2008

The Overnight 2008
On The Brooklyn Bridge, June 2008

Light at the end of the darkness...

Light at the end of the darkness...
One of Lily's Luminaria, New York City, June 2008

Mental illness is an insidious disease, one that still carries a stigma.

Many people don't think it's "real," that those afflicted should just "snap out
of it" or "stop feeling sorry for themselves."

But in fact NO ONE is immune from its devastation.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Hova gets me moving tonight

Great walk tonight. Plugged myself into Jay-Z's The Black Album. Fantastic music. And his lyrics--so intelligent and also so witty at times: "Do I look like a mindreader, sir? I don't know."

You may notice I've added some photos to my blog. The top one shows our Walk for Lily team at the outset of the 2008 Overnight. We're walking over the Brooklyn Bridge, which was a really thrilling experience. You can see we're all smiling and upbeat. That's typical--the atmosphere at the Walk is more hopeful than sad.

The second photo is of the luminaria I left at the end of the Walk in Lily's memory. In contrast to the mood during much of the Walk, the ceremony that marks the end of the Overnight is cathartic and excruciating. The sun is rising; it is chasing away the darkness. Each walker is given a luminary upon which they write a message to the person who is gone. These luminaries are lined up all along the plaza where we start and end our journey. The long line of light is a moving sight, particularly with the sunrise--a symbol of hope and a new beginning--in the background. But this is also the time when people fall apart and let their grief pour out. People who have been strong all night, for 20 miles and many hours when they would ordinarily be sleeping, show their vulnerability and the healing they have yet to achieve. I felt lucky and honored to be a part of this ceremony, despite it being nearly unbearable in its intensity. Truly an incredible journey...


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